To All The Haters!

Some cynics ask me- 'even with Cosmic Ordering working throughout your life, and everyone thinking you're great these days, how long in numbers do you realistically think this show can last?'

I say- look at Countdown. Over 20. Crap prizes, and so hard that you'd have to have an O Level in Thinking or something just to even find Channel 4 on those old tellies. Now that all the old squares are dying off in sympathy with Richard Whitely and everyone knows Channel 4 thanks to Big Brother, we've axed this embarrassing throwback (no, not DLT! Oo! Hope he's not watching!) and put on programmes made by the SAT tests generation for the SAT tests generation, where it's all about GTA and not GCE.

They don't need to know about thinking or sums and stuff. Leave that to digital calculators and Sudoku freaks. They just want their loopily quasi-mystical New Age random number generators to be accurate over half the time. And as much cold hard cash as their piggy arms can scoop up at once!