DISCLAIMER

While we're waiting for one of the great unwashed to be randomly self-selected through a computer, my legal representatives have asked me to point out that any promises of money are for entertainment purposes only, and in no way constitute a contract of any kind whatsoever. The use of the term 'Deal Or No Deal' in no way implies any relationship with or ... Read Moreknowledge of media properties with that name, or any other. All Production and Subliminal Programming delivered by Noel Edmunds and inspired by Beelzebub, Lord of Flies. Based on an idea that had seemed better on coke to be honest, but fuck it. Noel Edmunds is a fictitious character. Any resemblance to any persons living, dead or Enlightened is purely coincidental.

--

Ok. So. Hurry Up, proles and pick a box. Or it's gonna be just me waffling on and on and a dressing down for you lot back at the Fishponds Travelodge tonight. I'm talking withdrawal of minibar privileges. Except for Mr Edmunds, naturally. That's me, talking about myself in the third person. As if it somehow makes me any bloody taller.